FACTS ABOUT WISCONSIN THAT WOULD MAKE ME WANT TO GO THERE IF THEY WERE TRUE

  1. The state pays your airfare there and back plus a $500 appearance fee.
  2. Everywhere, cheese is free.
  3. The state bird is whatever you want it to be, man.
  4. Bugs don't exist there (flowers still grow (through the governor's magic)).
  5. If the governor dies, the whole state and everything in it disappears for all eternity. Get out while you can!