There oughta be an award ...

  1. For perfect parallel parking on the first try when someone is watching
  2. For finishing the laundry with no orphan socks
  3. For parents who refrain from profanity when stepping on a Lego brick
  4. For any presenter of quarterly financials who delivers his or her PowerPoint without saying, "This is an eye chart, but ..."
  5. For anyone who can get three children to church on time—bathed, dressed, and fed before leaving the house
  6. For most creative use of foods on hand to invent an impromptu, tasty, weeknight dinner for four or more
  7. For remembering all of one's user IDs and passwords for 37 consecutive hours
  8. For using only duct tape to repair a leaky toilet
  9. For arriving at work four consecutive days with matching shoes and matching socks
  10. For getting through the next nine days of election coverage without destroying one's television in a fit of rage