REAL DREAMS I'VE HAD

I have nutty dreams & like to summarize them in one tweet when I wake up. Here are some #lastnightsdream highlights via twitter.com/betneywhitsy
  1. I was developing a movie similar to 'Her' except it was about an iron.
  2. Played pattycake with Jimmy Fallon and Kermit while we shot a commercial and rapped on scaffolding about minions.
  3. Was waiting for a flight back to NYC. It was delayed and the airline listed the reason on the board as: DRUNK
  4. I was in a diving contest with a guy named Clay Kales, and I told someone, "His name is very vegan."
  5. Was running a torturous obstacle course with one obstacle being watching a show by that A Great Big World band.
  6. Got my haircut but the lady took off about 6" too many. Was most upset because I then realized I had an Android phone.
  7. Was at a Rolex trivia contest and won a plate-sized watch for knowing there are 2.2 carats of diamonds on one model.
  8. I joined an all-ages, co-ed football league, and Elliot Gould & Jeffrey Tambor were on my team.
  9. Was watching Kathie Lee & Hoda when a space shuttle crash landed in Central Park because a nun had been killed. Kathie Lee came on to report about it first, but she was drunk from their antics so I screamed, "Put Hoda on!" at the TV.
  10. Katy Perry needed a spare bra at the Tonys and her security guard offered me $15 for mine. I talked him up to $50.
  11. Was running late for the prom b/c I was hanging out with Beyoncé, said screw it & dove into a pool fully dressed instead.
  12. I promised @john a drink at a Croatian bar down the street called "Dubrovic" [sic] after he played a gig in a movie theater.
  13. I escaped a radioactive battleship with the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
  14. I had a long, flirtatious conversation with Mike Love of the Beach Boys and am now trying to figure out what that means.
  15. I talked to a cat with a voice like the yellow M&M.
  16. Helped stop a man pickpocketing Sarah Paulson's husband while she hosted a dinner party attended by Shaq.
  17. I saw a yacht with wings take off out of the water like a helicopter before complimenting Ted Danson on his outfit.
  18. I high fived Oprah twice on the streets of Italy.
  19. Lisa Rinna drove me to the airport but they kicked me off the flight because I was connecting through White Plains.
  20. Britney Spears stayed at my house while preparing for her tour and I found a pot of boiling apples in her room.
  21. Then my uncle walked in on me and a boyfriend. Except it wasn't my actual uncle, it was Dave Coulier.