THEY SAY DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT...

...so here are some jobs I've allegedly wanted.
  1. Angelina Jolie's left leg on a casual day.
  2. First Lady of a non-threatening state like Minnesota, attending benefits and stuff.
  3. Commuting eskimo, fed up with the dog sled rat race
  4. Carmen Sandiego
    Spoiler alert: she's apparently in New York City
  5. Millennial art studio model, posing for a duck faced marble bust of Medusa
  6. Artisanal drinking straw model, trying to become Pinterest-famous
  7. Ke$ha
    Clearly it was Halloween, but you don't dress up as Ke$ha by accident.
  8. Rainbow Brite (1989)
    Ibid.