...so here are some jobs I've allegedly wanted.
  1. Angelina Jolie's left leg on a casual day.
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  2. First Lady of a non-threatening state like Minnesota, attending benefits and stuff.
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  3. Commuting eskimo, fed up with the dog sled rat race
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  4. Carmen Sandiego
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    Spoiler alert: she's apparently in New York City
  5. Millennial art studio model, posing for a duck faced marble bust of Medusa
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  6. Artisanal drinking straw model, trying to become Pinterest-famous
    D777a121 aa0f 49de a25c 705cd3c0a09a
  7. Ke$ha
    F3b87b88 462e 4d78 96aa 37d04d6f59cc
    Clearly it was Halloween, but you don't dress up as Ke$ha by accident.
  8. Rainbow Brite (1989)
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    Ibid.