All The Cell Phones I Have Owned
Do y'all young whippersnappers know what life was like in olden times when that shit was connected to the wall??
- •Prologue: In 1998/99 I lived in Portugal, and when I came back to the states my family had cell phones and it was like they had been replaced by aliens from the future. I think a grand total of one of my high school classmates had one.I saw no need to join the club & kept one of those translucent 90s phones and an answering machine in my dorm room.
- •2003 - My first cell phone. I was a senior in college and only got a phone because Andrew W.K. was doing a promotion for his 2nd album, where if you pre-ordered it, he would personally call you to say thanks.So obviously I carried it to class turned on all the time. The call came when I was in NYC celebrating my birthday (with my childhood best friend who I had just found on Friendster) and it was the greatest.
- •Here is a photo (shot on film) of that conversation taking place.
- •2004 - As my first phone contract ended, I ditched it and got this flip phone on my parents' family plan.There was a glitch in our service that wasn't supposed to exist, by which I plugged this phone into my desktop computer and successfully used it to have free (albeit slow) internet access for two years.
- •2007 - I tried living in Chicago for a bit (it was one giant disaster) and wanted a sassy new phone and a 773 number to mark the occasion.My ringtone was the theme from The Office, which brought little moments of joy to those three shitty months.
- •The only cool person I called on this phone was Jon Langford of the Mekons.
- •2008 - I got a phone that looked pretty fancy but was mostly garbage. I replaced it once after accidentally drowning it in lemonade in my purse.I also sobbed into it for many hours about the narcissistic sociopath to whom I was married and little voices came through those cell waves (tubes?) and rescued me, phew!
- •2010 - I asked the dude at the phone store for the dumbest phone they had which counted as a smartphone, so I could hook up a credit card reader and make that 💰💰💰.He drew me a nice list of pros and cons for Androids vs. iPhones and the only thing in the "pro" column for iPhone was "sexy" so I got a Droid.
- •2014 - Verizon sent me a coupon in the mail that said I could get a free iPhone, and I needed a new phone anyway, so whatever.Now I have this comically small phone.
- •To make it easier to find and hold onto, I put it inside a big fat silicone Totoro.And there it remains.
- •I would have been shocked if you told pre-cell phone me, working on a photography degree, that my phone is now my primary tool for taking pictures.But it's cool coz I hate talking on the phone so I'm glad it's useful for other things.
- •Technology!!It's weird, dude.
- •xoxo, Betty Turbo