THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO ME IN RESTROOMS

At work. In public. I can't escape people's weird behavior
  1. I'll be the ONLY one in the restroom and the next person to come is guaranteed to go in the stall next to me
  2. People whistling while doing their business. Who does that?! You know who does that? Serial killers do that!
  3. People doing a combination of crossfit and ballet at the bathroom sink
  4. Talking on the phone while on the john. GTFO
  5. Chicks who stay for what seems like hours doing their makeup in front of the mirror while I'm trying to drop some bombs
  6. Bloodied up toilets from that time of the month. Is it that hard to flush?
  7. Peeing completely in sync with strangers. Girls may not be able to cross streams but we can still make magic happen