Possible explanations for why I haven't been on Li.st in a while

Because I haven't
  1. Bees in my ass
    It's more likely than you think
  2. I died and had to push a rock up a hill that always rolled back down
    As a punishment for tricking the gods
  3. Someone hit me in the head with a hammer, causing me to go unconscious
  4. I posed as a man named Eduardo to steal an old woman's money
  5. Because fuck you that's why
  6. I was fighting ISIS
  7. I was kidnapped and forced to watch every Batman movie in existence on a loop until I had memorized all of them
  8. Rehab
  9. I was trying to remember if I left the stove on or not
  10. I left the stove on and my house burned down
  11. I was hanging out with Jesus
    He's running for president
  12. I lost my phone while arm wrestling Satan
  13. Slingshot accident
  14. I was banging your mom
  15. I was thinking of reasons for why I hadn't been on Li.st in a while
  16. Classified information
  17. I discovered a new planet and tried to name it "Joe Biden"
    It turns out it had already been discovered and the guy who found it named it "Mars" or something like that
  18. Joe Biden is a way cooler name than Mars
    Just sayin'
  19. I accidentally followed 100+ people on Li.st and was afraid to see how many lists I had missed
  20. Guess which one it was