Things my dad likes to say when you're being cheeky to him

How do I introduce my dad? Irish, culchie, fearsome.
  1. Right. I'll put that in the book
    His imaginary black book where all slights perceived and real are mentally noted
  2. Wee apples grow big
  3. Quit acting the maggot
  4. Do you like those legs?
    Ref: kneecapping