Please note: I like the guy. I'm glad he won't get tossed in the cable-news spin cycle and shredded for being a "gaffe machine" or whatever the meme would have turned out to be. He deserves a dignified retirement. Godspeed, Joe.
  1. I could not be more sincere about this if I had some kind of sincerity-increasing device.
  2. Hey, Chief! There's the guy! Can I tell you about this guy, folks? 51-inch vertical leap. CLOCKED. My hand to God.
  3. "Bidaydas," my Irish mother called 'em. She was nuts!
  4. This Croque Monsieur is -- I mean this, folks -- folks, it is literally out of this world!
  5. Kneel before Zod! I'm just kiddin'.
  6. Folks, I wanna -- I wanna -- can I get a witness up in this piece?
  7. Wilmington? Little town, down I95 from Philly? Anybody? Ah, the hell with it.