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  1. Julianne Hough
    My high school won a text concert; I stalked her car after the show.
  2. Joe Biden
    He spoke at the University of Pittsburgh; I yelled that my family was from Scranton.
  3. Tim Gunn
    He spoke at the University of Pittsburgh; I fumbled through introducing myself.
4 more...
  1. THAT THE PUPPY BOWL IS ON SUNDAY
  2. #teamruff
  1. The middle section of Oreos
    Often enjoyed with the PB, the middle section of an Oreo package is my jam. Someone recently broke the news that a package of Oreos contains more than 3 servings... Oh well.
  1. That's all. I'll only make one joke for the next few days.
I'd watch this version primarily feat. the casts of Harry Potter & Star Wars
  1. Elizabeth Bennet- Daisy Ridley
  2. Mr. Darcy- young Colin Firth
    They are one in the same at this point.
  3. Jane Bennet- Emma Watson
5 more...
  1. Why can't you make lids that don't leak?
  2. You have enough money to fix this.
  1. Start a new job
    This will happen on January 4th. Probability: 10/10
  2. Get fitter
    I signed up for classpass, but I love cookies. Probability: 7/10
  3. Go grocery shopping
    I always forget & I love takeout, but I pass a grocery store on my new walk home. Probability: 6/10
  4. Spend less on clothes
    Lol. Probability: 3/10
  1. Walk in to the movie with my pants full Twix, bag of chips, plus a Snapple
  2. Stealing all the shampoos, from the hotel’s pretty bathrooms
  3. Looking like a nice guy, ‘til I take your motherfucking Wi-Fi
7 more...
  1. 1.
    Add his entire family on snapchat
  2. 2.
    Buy him tickets for a date night to see Star Wars without any prior knowledge about the franchise then ask questions throughout the whole movie
  3. 3.
    Like & comment on an Instagram of him and his ex from 147 weeks ago
7 more...