Life Hacks No One Asked for and That No One Will Want

  1. A more efficient method of nose picking using a matchbook from a local tavern and a paper clip
  2. Need to steal cable? Sure you do. Want to know how to do it? Tough shit! I'm kidding, but you'll need tweezers, a radial saw and a kitten
  3. You can reenact the Hayley Mills version of Parent Trap with ants and some empty Michelob Light bottles but it's gonna cost you
  4. D&D character generation shortcuts including choosing a class by smacking yourself in the head with a tire iron
  5. A handy tool for "[n] [x] that [y]" list generation, and all you'll need is a dot matrix printer, an empty bag of Cheetos and a Presbyterian hymnal
  6. Another goddamn way to clear out your fucking inbox