How Every One of My Roommates (Past and Present) Would Be Introduced on a Dating Game Show
- •this is jackie! she likes disney more than your average twelve year old! she has a lot of clothes and a poodle named puddles! if you like naps at 2pm and twenty one pilots, she might be the girl for you!
- •here's kelsey! she is cute as a button but will actually kill you if you try to wake her up! she consistently takes the trash out with minimal complaining! if you like a person you rarely see, kelsey may be your girl!
- •and next is ashley! ashley loves wine and hates assholes! which is ironic because she has a fish named asshole! she plays the trumpet and is probably able to serenade you! ashley might be the match for you if you enjoy a partner who will occasionally buy you food just because she's hungry!
- •and now we've come to emily! emily is a republican because her dad told her to be! if you leave your dirty dishes by the sink long enough, emily will clean them! she also sings country music a lot! emily might not be the girl for you but she's the girl your dad will love!
- •up next is maddy! maddy is sweet as pie but will also kick your ass because she has a black belt! maddy once said she would vote for donald trump! but she's adorable which could make up for it! maddy might be your perfect match if you know anything about rhonda rousey!
- •and lastly is amanda! amanda is my girlfriend so back off!