by knowing annoying assholes with those names
  1. mason
    this kid called me a bitch in high school and it was funny because it was an extreme over reaction but also fuck him
  2. shelby
    a kind of pretentious girl who is now dating what my friends would call a "turbo atheist"
  3. audrey
    a super annoying rich kid i went to high school with
  4. zack
    a hick that used to live next door to me last year and he would chew and sit in my room and SPIT into a water bottle oh my god
  5. johnathon
    another of the hicks. super creepy
  6. brandon
    johnathons brother. dropped out because he blacked out and fell asleep on the train tracks outside our dorm TWICE
  7. logan
    a kid from my high school who said girls were to weak to be in the army
  8. william
    I KNOW TWO BAD WILLIAMS. one was my good pal from hs who has since said homosexuality was a sin. the other was a kid going into the police academy who posts on facebook about being a nice guy and chivalry is dead and beards are chick magnets. YIKES.