i'm an anxious mess. here are some reasons why.

living with anxiety fucking sucks. this is an ongoing list of things that make me anxious.
  1. being late to something
    this is why i'm always early to being early
  2. traffic
    i feel like i'm a competent driver but the people around me.. not so much. you never know what someone's gonna do and i hate being around so many other cars with people in them who are mad about traffic.
  3. crowds
  4. when i have to say "no" to a request from someone
  5. highways
  6. having a speedy driver behind me
    i feel like it's expected of me to speed up or something and sometimes i'll just speed up so they'll fall back but that never works either. it's the worst.
  7. malls
    just like crowds but with the unpleasant act of shopping involved.
  8. being asked questions i don't know the answer to while i'm at work
  9. when there's a long line at the register while i'm at work
  10. walking anywhere by myself
    i just feel like people are looking at me and analyzing how i look and everything i do. it's the fucking worst.
  11. anytime something feels slightly off with my body
    im lowkey a hypochondriac and i'm super paranoid about my heart. i always feel like i'm about to die.
  12. hearing a group of people laugh near me
    it sounds kind of irrational but i immediately think they're laughing at me.
  13. when i walk into a place and people turn to look at me
    i know that it's just a natural habit, people are curious to see who just entered the place they're in. but when i walk into a restaurant and multiple people look up at me, i feel like i just walked onto a stage and spotlight is on me.
  14. ordering food when there's a line behind me
    i feel like i'm under pressure and i'm gonna end up stuttering (which actually happened to me last week and it was the worst feeling ever)
  15. phonecalls
    not all phone calls. just important phone calls, making phone calls to work (or customer service or to make appointments), and talking on the phone with customers. i either stumble over my words or talk too much and say something stupid. and i can't even recover from it because i'm so awkward.
  16. planes
    i don't like being thousands of feet in the air with no control of what is going to happen.
  17. losing my voice at work
    and having to clear my throat a million times in a non obvious way
  18. getting a middle seat in the movie theater
    makes me so uncomfortable, i like being in the back.
  19. waiting around to go somewhere i don't wanna go.
    i just sit around and overthink and make myself even more nervous, like i'm doing right now.