1. Heartburn
  2. I'm in a full-sized bed
    So my feet stick out
  3. I had an entire McDonalds value meal before retiring five hours ago
    This is probably not unrelated
  4. My friend's horrible dog went number two downstairs. I saw it when I was getting water, but I am going to pretend that I didn't see it when they tell me about it tomorrow
    But I am slightly worried/guilty about this