EXCERPTS FROM MY BROTHER'S 2007 EMAILS, ARRANGED CHRONOLOGICALLY.

  1. I don't like having my pictures on MySpace. I want you to remove them right now, this instant. Okay, let me know when I no longer appear on MySpace.
  2. Sticky steering wheels are gross.
  3. Why is the federal government, with over 130,000 troops in Iraq, worried about a bunch of cats?
  4. Well, I just inflicted upon myself a particularly painful paper cut from a South Fayette Township Earned Income Tax Return. So, taxes hurt, both physically and financially.
  5. By this time tomorrow, I'll be sunburned, provided my municipal bus with wings doesn't break apart in mid air.
  6. Careful about eating at your desk because it is crawling with germs.
  7. Remember, you have a thirty-five year time frame on that IRA. So, imagine if you could go back in time thirty-five years and buy real estate. I'd like to do that.
  8. The first rule is you don't trust Russians.
  9. Why do you hate Adam?
  10. You should start going to church again.
  11. I don't want to be on MySpace. It is that simple. I hate MySpace. I don't want my pictures on MySpace. Remove them now.
  12. Too bad I don't have a Dick Cheney mask.