MY LOCAL GROCERY STORE

  1. Small, family-owned.
  2. Everyone who works there knows me, which used to feel nice.
  3. But now I'm in my mid-thirties, and I've recently moved back to my small hometown in Western Pennsylvania.
  4. It seems I constantly, but inadvertently, offend everyone on staff.
  5. Yesterday, as I was checking out, the cashier asked why I didn't get a shopping cart instead of a basket.
  6. I said I spend less money if I use a basket.
  7. She said twice, and very slowly each time, "I don't know about you."
  8. I wanted to vault the counter and throttle her.
  9. Then she remarked on the two steaks I was purchasing.
  10. I joked, "Yeah, I'll take a picture of them for you. Like they do on instagram."
  11. I could see her actively refuse to digest what I'd actually said.
  12. I backed out of the store.
  13. She thought I'd been rubbing in her face the fact that I bought two steaks.
  14. How do you correct something like that?
  15. There was something willful, glad in her misinterpretation.
  16. I don't know about you, either, Cheryl.
  17. I don't know
  18. about you.