THINGS YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW

  1. My Polish friend Justyna discovered kale in 2009. To my knowledge, she's the first person to have ever tried to eat it.
  2. I've never had kale.
  3. All babies look just like my Aunt Fran.
  4. On a scale of one to ten, my Christmas excitement this year is between two and three.
  5. I drank gin last night and feel horrible today as a result. #christmasweek
  6. I have to drop off three dozen eggs to my mother at some point today from my friend's boyfriend who keeps chickens.
  7. She wanted them yesterday.
  8. I still need to purchase a gift for nearly every male family member.
  9. I still haven't quit smoking.
  10. I have to write about mutual funds for work bc I thought, when selecting that article topic, that it would be fun to learn about mutual funds.
    stupid biz
  11. I'm out of half and half.
  12. I tweeted Donald Trump the other day.
    That brings the total number of times I've tweeted him to two.
  13. Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door this morning.
    Two questions, answered: They do not celebrate Christmas, and they believe only a certain number of people can get into heaven. Cited Bible in both cases.
  14. Sometimes when my cat is sitting on my lap, and I move a little bit, and she freaks out and jumps away, I wonder if, after seeing that I have not moved really, and I'm still basically in the same position, she feels silly or regretful.
  15. Without half and half, there can be no coffee.
  16. Rand Paul is airing his Festivus grievances on Twitter today.
  17. I'm using gift bags this year. Zero wrapping paper.