1. I live on the edge of a huge farm.
  2. Something about all that undisturbed land attracts these enormous brown spiders.
  3. The females like my mailbox.
  4. Last summer, after I'd brought the mail into my car, I looked down at my lap, and there was a two-inch by two-inch spider in my lap.
  5. I began shaking my mail before bringing it into the car.
  6. Now, there are three nests in the black plastic mailbox.
  7. To me, each represents the best decision that could be made with the available knowledge.
  8. Destroying them feels wrong.
  9. As if I'm negating a being's entire existence.
  10. Today, in the Taco Bell drive through, where I spent $14, by the by, I saw them.
  11. Three.
  12. They were tiny. Had a just-hatched quality. And not brown. Taupe.
  13. I ushered the one out the open window as gently as I could.
  14. The second one disappeared under the front passenger seat.
  15. The third stared me down from my dashboard, just behind my steering wheel.
  16. Some shift from its eye area made it seem like it was focusing on me, trying to.
  17. It sneaked into the left-most vent.
  18. However many there are, they'll die because there's nothing to eat.