Best Text Message You Received Today

New people on The List App: a list with a ➕ means Open List which is open to suggestions!
  1. "Bieber is making all the right moves." - @sophia
  2. "Dude do you know the Lisa Frank conspiracies"
    Suggested by   @fashionwater
  3. "Damn your sister and all of her terrible life decisions." - my husband
    Suggested by   @taner_banana
  4. "I'm going to be sexy ISIS for Halloween"
    Suggested by   @samgoldd
  5. "Good luck on your tests today- buenos luck🍀" - My grandma sending me luck and her attempt at Spanish for my Spanish exam today💕💕💕💕
    Suggested by   @LuvJulia
  6. "Adele's new song is so good!! YAS QUEEN please fuck me up! Slay me!"
    Suggested by   @daniela
  7. New Adele video and song!!!
    Suggested by   @Aisha
  8. "I'VE ALREADY LISTENED TO IT 25 TIMES OBVIOUSLY" - my sister, on "Hello" by Adele
    Suggested by   @kari
  9. "We can mourn Chafee's departures together. (I will work on figuring out definitively how to say his name in the meantime - still a little unclear to me)"
    Suggested by   @peraun
  10. Manicurist says black people like silver and gold. I declined to comment. - Mom
    Suggested by   @celeste
  11. "Be brave Be beautiful Be confident" —My mom
    Suggested by   @samsvirtuallife
  12. One Medical Group Appointment reminder: 8:00 AM at Berkeley with Russell Alpert, MD. To cancel please call 510-225-1025
    Suggested by   @sippey
  13. So I met a gypsy yesterday.
    Suggested by   @ohgraceous
  14. "There are going to be a lot of born-again beliebers after Justin's new album"
    Suggested by   @JustinHairston
  15. 'He has resting "get that camera the fuck out of my face" face' -- @kclairem
    Suggested by   @amp
  16. "Took some acid with my hook up buddy from the ashram"
    Suggested by   @avery
  17. "Remember that guy I made out with at the gay bar last night? He sat by me on the plane this morning."
    Suggested by   @ktmoorektmoore
  18. "Should I have cookies or fries for dessert" (11:36 am)
    Suggested by   @quinnok
  19. "I'm going to be a minion holding a banana for Halloween." From my mom.
    Suggested by   @samandreacchi
  20. Chase acct ---- bal $1.79 as of 10/23/2015 01:38:23 PM EDT was below your $50.00 limit.
    Suggested by   @caitlynmn
  21. "She was talking something creative, like donut making or fondue"
    Suggested by   @michele
  22. "Scientology sounds cool but also scary. Thoughts?"
    Suggested by   @emilyr
  23. "Is Ben Gazi going to run for Hillary's VP?"
    Suggested by   @colinhughesla
  24. Finally caught up with How to Get Away with Murder - much blood, very betrayal, such gay.
    Suggested by   @katherinekirst14
  25. "What's with the sad volcano short before 'Inside Out' ?"
    Suggested by   @alexisgfloyd
  26. I would surrender my life to see that performance- @patrickrogers re: our 2 favorite drag queens in Wicked together
    Suggested by   @mia
  27. Does paleo mean no beer? Then FUCK paleo
    Suggested by   @robynrbryan
  28. I'm in the back alley behind the building
    Suggested by   @catrific
  29. Hi I'm feeling very sappy, and so I just want you to know that I love you so much and I'm so happy that I have you in my life because you're the best ❤️❤️☺️❤️❤️
    Suggested by   @macchapin
  30. "You ever just like try to be a nice person but secretly you hope certain people stay fat? 🙄" @primaleicaro
    Suggested by   @thatnicgirl
  31. "Did you know Shakira was attacked by a sea lion?"
    Suggested by   @reillymartin
  32. "Omg do not release the bees" / "I'm gonna release the bees" / "BEES!"
    Suggested by   @julianadavis
  33. "HIT ON BY HOT YOUNG PASTOR" - my roommate at 10:30 this morning
    Suggested by   @alexacosti
  34. So can we count u in on the llama? we can arrange when u r home. we should all visit the current llamas together
    From my mom. Best without context.
    Suggested by   @Salomon
  35. "I hate when people tell me to look at the list they just published because it's funny, but it's actually not funny at all." -coworker discussing list app.
    Suggested by   @brykelley
  36. "You know, you're the same age as Adele and she has like, a ton of Grammys. You don't have any. What do you have to say about that? YOU GONNA LET ADELE WIN THIS ROUND?" - encouraging words from my younger sister
    Suggested by   @brittneyback
  37. "No wonder menopausal women go into blind rage. "
    Suggested by   @CaraCunningham
  38. Cute boys go apple picking -- my mom
    Suggested by   @regobeil
  39. "Can you watch my kid while my husband and I rage for an hour and a half?" -next door neighbor
    Suggested by   @jillk
  40. "Who do you think explained racial integration to Captain America?"
    Suggested by   @tawny
  41. "I can't believe you are getting married! You're adding a blue peg into your little car for Life! Next thing you know, you'll have four 'Baby on Board' stickers slapped on your 'luxury' mini van". - My best friend.
    Suggested by   @MsKateElise
  42. Can't wait to meet the sausage king of Chicago
    Suggested by   @mcflysirishbugs
  43. Hahahahhaah nnoooo way you bitches drank without me!!! - a friend I'm holidaying in Hawaii with, who was late to join our Thursday night party
    Suggested by   @pathologic_KT
  44. "Did you ever think adulthood would just be made up of disappointments and days of getting excited over booze and little cartoons on the iPhone you had to lease? Because I did not see that coming." @primaleicaro is really funny
    Suggested by   @thatnicgirl
  45. 'I want your penis protection' - @myrtedriesenaar
    Suggested by   @amykardashianwest
  46. This picture of Bradley Cooper
    Suggested by   @OffTheDott
  47. "He's all like "you're gonna break my heart" and I'm like I went to 3 fast food places in one day, who do you think I am?"
    Suggested by   @meagatron69
  48. "What time should I come over with pizza? 🍕🍕🍕"
    Suggested by   @mattan
  49. Sushi?!
    Suggested by   @LeahG
  50. "You should join the Y with us! You woulda died today in the sauna. Old naked lady in there kept showing me her giant beaver!!" - from a friend
    Suggested by   @element75
  51. I miss Famcy Nancy and Pinkalicious. -my friend Nicole
    Suggested by   @thereset88
  52. AaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    If a single text can give you the @cherrycheva experience, this is the one.
    Suggested by   @angusisley
  53. I want some ravioli. Is there a good place on campus to get ravioli? -my best friend
    Suggested by   @alyssafields
  54. "News flash ! There are terrorists in London. Lol" -from mom
    Suggested by   @devinbarbaro
  55. "This just in: butt fuck New Mexico smells like beef stew and sweat." --my best friend
    Suggested by   @avabellows
  56. "Fact: if you are German and a female, u cannot resist me" -my most repulsive friend
    Suggested by   @kdbosco
  57. "What are you waiting for! There's a champagne bottle and a middle finger!"
    Apparently the new emojis are 🔥
    Suggested by   @betsey
  58. "Yea man I'm excited to freak out family members. I'm going to Vegas this spring to fix parts of my life that I left there so I'm excited." - My cousin who lived in Las Vegas until 1st grade when he moved and is now a pothead Wiccan with legit narcolepsy
    Suggested by   @SuperCarter
  59. "Cheryl... What did you want from Costco? Socks?"
    I am inexplicably a part of this group text with my parents.
    Suggested by   @kimboslce
  60. I know. This was a negotiation. He wanted way more disturbing!
    Suggested by   @Lisztomania
  61. "That's behavior you can get away with at Walmart.. But target; you're just asking for attention"
    Suggested by   @amymehrle
  62. Wow. I think I sent you a toliet flushing
    re: a random sound clip text I received
    Suggested by   @briglioa21
  63. Floss at all costs tbh
    Suggested by   @mattjohc
  64. "Québec is so weird, they apparently eat something called "Putin" on a regular basis. It's fries with gravy and has nothing remotely Russian or authoritarian to it. Hope you're well."
    Suggested by   @vlt
  65. "That's my husband's funeral and the guy next to me is just a sidepiece" -my sister's suggestion on what to say when people ask about pictures of my wedding, in which I wear a black dress.
    Suggested by   @aprilinpieces
  66. Pot roast! Dad is good he had speaking therapy
    Suggested by   @lizabeth
  67. "What's your stance on Blink 182?" - from a man I just started seeing
    Suggested by   @cjune
  68. "Then he said he could not go back to bed because it was all wet ."
    Suggested by   @sunpuddles