Best Worst Advice You've Ever Received ➕

What's a piece of bad advice you received that was particularly memorable? Add in suggestions.
  1. "Just marry her and then divorce her!"
    I had recently broken up with someone I didn't want to let go of, even though I knew I had no future with her. A friend offered this advice.
  2. Do what I did... Get yourself knocked up!
    Years ago I was complaining about the military's policy requiring single servicemembers to live in the dorms. A co-worker offered me a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
    Suggested by   @BlueRidgeGirl
  3. From my dad: You'll meet wonderful ladies you want to date at the meat counter at the supermarket. Wait around for a foxy lady to come to place a meat order from the butcher, then approach her with some of your own meat and ask her, "Excuse me, but how would you cook this?"
    Suggested by   @ChrisK
  4. "Just beat the shit out of him"
    Advice from a family friend regarding a middle school bully. 1. I'd never be able to win that fight. 2. Who encourages violence?!?
    Suggested by   @Nicholas
  5. Here, just drink like half a bottle of captain morgan's so that you stay warm while we sled
    It was winter break during my junior year of high school and there was *so much barf*
    Suggested by   @mollyyeh
  6. "If you see a bear, and don't have time to run away, hug it. Bears cannot scratch their stomachs" -- my grandfather 100% seriously
    Apparently he learned this as a boyscout many years ago. I thought me must have been misremembering, but no, he has the book with this advice in it. Apparently bear biology was not a badge. I do not know what you're supposed to do after hugging the bear, either. Just hang on there until it dies or hibernates?
    Suggested by   @roseveleth
  7. "Be a Michael, not a Sonny"
    My mom gives me this advice every time I'm wanting to confront someone. How about I probably shouldn't be behaving like any member of the Italian mafia!
    Suggested by   @mia
  8. "Put your picture on your resume. People are visual and you're pretty."
    I was right out of college and networking with a family friend's contact at a production company. He gave me this advice and I was disturbed to learn he also had three daughters.
    Suggested by   @mallofamanda
  9. "Wait a minimum of one month and a maximum of three months before having sex with a guy you're dating." -My dad's sex talk with FOURTEEN YEAR OLD me.
    Suggested by   @alissamaynot
  10. "Just turn your radio up louder" was advice my stepfather gave me when I was on a road trip by myself and my car started making a very funny noise.
    Suggested by   @krissy
  11. Feed 'em, fuck 'em, forget about 'em
    My grandfather gave me this advice about women when I was nine years old
    Suggested by   @tombatten
  12. "You need to drink more and hook up more at bar time. Then you will start liking your body more."
    College friend 😔
    Suggested by   @AlexandraLouise
  13. "Just try not to be yourself for the first few weeks...at least."
    High school friend's advice on how I should approach making friends in college 😕
    Suggested by   @hgaines
  14. "You should take more. It'll knock the bad trip out and restart you." -- a high school friend, to me, during a harrowing LSD experience. I took this advice. Let's just say it didn't work.
    Suggested by   @JessePearson
  15. "Bet on black." -Wesley Snipes (in Passenger 54?)
    Has lost me at least $20 each and every trip to Vegas since 1999.
    Suggested by   @vp
  16. Never trust anyone.
    My family, trying to be helpful. (Good intentions and Italian-American roots.) Eventually I learned it's okay to trust people who aren't family... as long as you always watch your back. Kidding. Sort of.
    Suggested by   @brookielyons
  17. "You should just have an affair. In Europe, people do it all the time and it's no big deal."
    I love the idea that Europe is just this non-stop adulterous sex-fest with no consequences.
    Suggested by   @angusisley
  18. "Just give them $20" - my father. I was 25 and we stayed out too late in town on a weekend boat trip to get a cab back to the marina. This was advice on how to make it *not really hitchhiking* when we got in a stranger's van.
    Suggested by   @heyitsalison
  19. "Is this about someone else? Because if it is, just cheat on him. He'll never know."
    I called my parents to tell them I was breaking up with my boyfriend of 5 years. He was in law school in Indiana, I was in grad school in NY. The relationship was awful. But they really liked him. This was their response.
    Suggested by   @Grosstastic
  20. "When asking for career advice, tell the person you are talking to that you want their job one day even when you don't" - top hollywood agent speaking at my school
    Suggested by   @aprilkquioh