Favorite Mitch Hedberg Quotes
My favorite comedian. Please add your favorite quotes to the list...
- •I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
- •I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
- •You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.
- •Rice is great if you're hungry and want to eat 2,000 of something.
- •This jacket is dry clean only... which means it's dirty.
- •What does a sesame seed grow into? I don't know, we never gave them a chance! What in the fuck is a sesame?
- •Escalators never break. They just become stairs. Sorry for the convenience.Suggested by @maria
- •My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, "No, but I want a regular banana later....so yeah"Suggested by @JustinHairston
- •Dogs are forever in the push up position.Suggested by @maria