Soon I will be a guest on my favorite podcast, The Great Debates, hosted by @helytimes & @davis, in which people debate fascinatingly specific close-call topics at the top of their intelligence. (A recent favorite: "It would help Hillary Clinton's campaign if her email contained a draft of erotic Big Bang Theory fan fiction." Suggestions?
  1. If pies could run for elected office, the winners would most often be the serviceable but boring options, like pumpkin.
    Suggested by @carolynparkhurst
  2. Resolved: If James Joyce was alive today he could have sex with Lady Gaga.
    Suggested by @Trugh25
  3. Another truly great game show will emerge in the next five years
    Suggested by @helytimes
  4. Alcohol has done more good than harm
  5. Clowns are obscene
  6. We are at peak pornography
  7. It's cooler to speak Italian than Japanese
    Suggested by @helytimes
  8. San Francisco has the best coffee on the west coast
    Suggested by @ashepinnell
  9. "Mighty Joe Young" is a better giant ape movie than any version of "King Kong"
    Suggested by @allysonarno
  10. If Bill Cosby had been raping men, the reaction would have been very different
  11. When a girl says "I love eating dessert first" with a coy smile on a first date, run.
    Suggested by @laura710ef
  12. The New York Yankees will eventually retire too many numbers
    Suggested by @wall
  13. The U.S. Government should at least consider a real-life Purge
    Suggested by @wall
  14. Emojis are the best way to communicate
    Suggested by @preethikann
  15. The new Star Wars film has a very legitimate chance of being the best one yet.
    Suggested by @Hittman
  16. Answers from the 11-year-old girl and 9-year-old boy I'm babysitting, respectively: "Should you be allowed to fish at the Great Barrier Reef?" and "Should unicorns be alive?"
    Suggested by @caroparker
  17. Coexist bumper stickers do more harm than good
    Suggested by @wall
  18. Men on average are better cooks than women
    Suggested by @helytimes
  19. Don't date a guy with a cracked phone screen
    Suggested by @helytimes
  20. MSG should be embraced by food snobs.
    Suggested by @gialappe
  21. Truck drivers have it all
    Suggested by @sshapses
  22. It's smarter to focus on a YouTube career than a college education
    Suggested by @kaylatuso
  23. It's better to have Monday off than Friday
    Suggested by @babygotmac27
  24. Aaron Sorkin is better at writing movies than he is at writing TV shows
    Suggested by @sarahgorman
  25. Nothing matters because everyone dies.
    Suggested by @ellaNaaman
  26. Skinny chefs are not to be trusted.
    Suggested by @sarahguiloff
  27. Bernie Sanders has had more sex in his lifetime than Donald Trump
    Suggested by @PatrickCleary
  28. Single people actually have good dating advice.
    Suggested by @brendang
  29. Braces are a scam
    Suggested by @kaylatuso
  30. Andy Warhol's favorite social media app would have been Snapchat
    Suggested by @stamos
  31. When it comes to candy, color is important
  32. Time is more important than space
  33. Human life spans are long enough
    Suggested by @caa627
  34. Harry Potter will someday be seen as a religious text
    Suggested by @killingyouguy
  35. John Travolta is miserable
    Suggested by @killingyouguy
  36. All pets are golddiggers
    Suggested by @Emily_Horgan
  37. Ambitious people aren't happy, happy people aren't ambitious
    Suggested by @ellaNaaman
  38. "Back to the Future" is a scary movie
    Suggested by @sarahgorman
  39. Monica Lewinsky should follow Hillary Clinton on Twitter
    Suggested by @gialappe
  40. Password security questions should be even more specific to our personal lives
    Suggested by @wall
  41. Christmas or Chanukah?
    Which holiday is better? Taking into account (but not limited to) variables such as Santa vs. just your Grandpa, baby Jesus being born vs. Jewish people reclaiming their Temple from the Greek invaders, and most importantly electric colorful lights vs. actual candle fire.
    Suggested by @leahr
  42. All songs are really about sex
    Suggested by @Nicholas