How I Like to Imagine the Day Ringo Presented the Song Octopus' Garden to the Other Beatles
- •Ringo writes the song. He has no idea if it's anything. He's pretty shy about it. He figures it's silly, but it's catchy. But silly. But... He can't decide whether it's too stupid to show the others.
- •He plays it for George. "I don't know if this is anything. Maybe if we did a sequel to that Yellow Submarine movie, this could be in that?"
- •George doesn't want to be the one to tell Ringo that this is definitely beneath the standards of The Beatles. "I dunno. Play it for John and Paul," he says.
- •Ringo goes to John and Paul - John fucking Lennon and Paul fucking McCartney - together - at the height of their powers. The two of them - John and Paul - sit there, in silence, paying their combined undivided attention for several minutes as Ringo sings them what is clearly a children's song about living happily in the garden of an octopus.
- •The song ends. Silence. Ringo immediately regrets playing this song.
- •John and Paul look at each other. They have been at the height of their tension for months. The band has broken up temporarily several times and is about to again. But the two share a feeling: a shock at this ridiculous innocence and ridiculous song. They want to laugh. But they can't laugh out loud, so the feeling just grows as joy inside them.
- •"Nice tune," says Paul. "Really good." He can't laugh. "Really good. Really good. Yeah, really good. John?"
- •"Good?" says John. "I'll say. In fact, it's so goddamn good that we're going to put it right smack in the fucking middle of Abbey fucking Road!"
- •"Hey, says Ringo. "Please don't be mean."
- •"No, we're serious," says Paul. "We're completely serious. It's a masterpiece."
- •"Okay," says Ringo. "Well, thanks!"
- •"I want to add a lot of harmonies," says Paul as Ringo starts to leave. "Get all four of our voices on it. Make it really special."
- •"Great!" says Ringo, so happy.
- •John and Paul smile at each other, so happy. It always remains one of their favorite Beatles song, for sentimental reasons.