Random Lines From My Notebooks

I keep pocket notebooks on me at almost all times to write down creative ideas. Every few months I go through and transcribe them. Here are some lines from this last round presented without context.
  1. Learning to masturbate one handed, like Pete Sampras
  2. "He needs a rubber ducky that won't melt in a hot tub"
  3. Just think of whoever is talking to you as a personal performance artist.
  4. Kids' book: The Bicycle in the Motorcycle Gang
  5. George Clooney: we all know about this guy's house in Lake Como. Why? We don't care.
  6. "Cute as a button." Since when are buttons cute? I've never seen a button I've wanted to fuck [standup?]
  7. If Cosby had been raping men instead of women, how would the reaction be different? (Dialogue/dinner scene/standup)
  8. Brilliance shines brightest through simplicity
  9. Mercy. Grace. Faith.
  10. Looking back, the food in the restaurant in Seinfeld was probably bad
  11. I don't know how to write the number 7
  12. Why is sports even part of the news on TV? It needs to end every time with "and a lot of people thought it was a very big deal" for it to be news
  13. Every art museum is a history museum
  14. The alphabet is on its way to Morse Code