Random Lines From My Notebooks
I keep pocket notebooks on me at almost all times to write down creative ideas. Every few months I go through and transcribe them. Here are some lines from this last round presented without context.
- •Learning to masturbate one handed, like Pete Sampras
- •"He needs a rubber ducky that won't melt in a hot tub"
- •Just think of whoever is talking to you as a personal performance artist.
- •Kids' book: The Bicycle in the Motorcycle Gang
- •George Clooney: we all know about this guy's house in Lake Como. Why? We don't care.
- •"Cute as a button." Since when are buttons cute? I've never seen a button I've wanted to fuck [standup?]
- •If Cosby had been raping men instead of women, how would the reaction be different? (Dialogue/dinner scene/standup)
- •Brilliance shines brightest through simplicity
- •Mercy. Grace. Faith.
- •Looking back, the food in the restaurant in Seinfeld was probably bad
- •I don't know how to write the number 7
- •Why is sports even part of the news on TV? It needs to end every time with "and a lot of people thought it was a very big deal" for it to be news
- •Every art museum is a history museum
- •The alphabet is on its way to Morse Code