1. I dreamt I was riding a bus with Jason Sudeikis
  2. That people were assigned a clothing color at birth, and that's the only color you could wear for the rest of your life.
    I got green, and considered it deeply unfair.
    Suggested by @IveGottaTellMel
  3. I was attending a live recording of one of my favorite podcasts. The moment before a producer went on stage and shamed me for smoking pot in the audience. I was thrown out, so upset, yelling "I have cancer!" The podcast team rushed to my doctor's office to make me feel better and do the next episode with me.
    This is when you watch Breaking Bad and listen to podcasts before bed.
    Suggested by @lizabeth
  4. I dreamt I got a dog named "JoJo" after the bachelorette
    Suggested by @ECullz
  5. My old roommate and I rode a sideways surfboard that functioned as a bicycle
    Suggested by @anuhea
  6. Running a corgi farm with hundreds of those animals.
    Suggested by @scarpo7
  7. I dreamt I was at a wedding reception with Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Lisa Kudrow
    Suggested by @elzeno11
  8. Kendall Jenner was yelling at me because we were late for a party
    Suggested by @maggieannre
  9. I dreamt I was patron to a restaurant fully serviced by the doormen of my apartment building.
    Classify it as a nightmare, actually
    Suggested by @mart
  10. I dreamt about a cute girl I like (who hates me IRL)
    She sneezed and it was adorable.
    Suggested by @raskuhl
  11. I had a sleep paralysis dream that a little gremlin man was standing on my tv and filming me while I slept
    Suggested by @kierskiers
  12. Someone forced my ex-husband and I to build furniture together.
    Suggested by @ckilgore
  13. I dreamt I was driving with John C. McGinely and my brakes were cut.
    Suggested by @sophian016
  14. I dreamt my boss emailed me to ask why I was late to work for two weeks consecutively and copied the entire company in the email.
    Suggested by @whereismysoupsnake
  15. I dreamt a man was coming after me and I was hiding in an artists warehouse with a bunch of bunk beds and weird art
    Suggested by @lulee
  16. I dreamt james Ginn was giving me advice on how to edit my exercise videos
    Suggested by @monicafitness
  17. That I hooked up with an Internet celebrity.
    Suggested by @ryant
  18. I dreamt I was performing standup as an opening act for Blink-182. The audience liked me, surprisingly.
    Suggested by @ELars
  19. My girlfriend said all of the La Croix in the fridge was hers.
    Suggested by @kevcar
  20. i dreamt that one of my dogs was missing and @lesbian had taken him
    Suggested by @upset
  21. I dreamt I was locked up abroad but Olivia Wilde was with me and she said it was gonna be ok so it was chill.
    Suggested by @juliavalentine
  22. That I had given birth to twins who had different fathers. One father was Joel McHale and he was...not being a good dad. In fairness, I was also not being a good mom: we were at an all-night party on a boat.
    This dream may have been BoJack Horseman-influenced.
    Suggested by @meganriordan
  23. I was an architect that specializes in building secret passage ways and hidden rooms in people's homes.
    I am an elementary school teacher in real life lol
    Suggested by @mgblatt
  24. Hillary Clinton was on SNL and the audience started booing her
    But then it turned out it was all part of the sketch. One half of the audience sang a song featuring the the phrase "all lives matter" and the other half, led by Tina Fey, celebrated Hillary's nomination
    Suggested by @mjspears
  25. I dreamt that I was massively pregnant, and then as soon as I gave birth, I was pregnant again!
    (More of a nightmare actually)
    Suggested by @KM6
  26. I dreamt that an English teacher from high school was coming on to me...
    ...and I was INTO IT
    Suggested by @tiupps
  27. That i was a spy and had to infiltrate a secret school, which turned out to be brainwashing male models into an evil brainwashed army
    - not a bad dream considering the view
    Suggested by @katieec
  28. I dreamt I was in the handicapped stall and when I can out there were hundreds of angry people in wheel chairs
    Suggested by @katrinacullingworth
  29. I grew a beard right before competing in a beauty pageant.
    Suggested by @nikalaay
  30. All dogs I had ever met in my life had been replaced by cats - it was awful...
    Suggested by @alyherb
  31. That I was part of a huge crowd of women that were joining up with the new Ghostbusters crew in a burning ghost-ravaged city
    I've never been so disheartened over my 3 yr old waking me up
    Suggested by @dreadpiratemama
  32. I dreamt that my sister was a giant and I was normal sized. Then, she was carrying me to the beach and I couldn't swim. I tried to tell her that I couldn't swim but she no longer spoke English.
    Suggested by @petty
  33. I had an incredibly vivid nightmare that Hillary Clinton kidnapped me and a ton of my friends and held us hostage in a mansion. Eventually I escaped...
    This might have happened because I watched HRC's speech, followed by an episode of Game of Thrones before going to bed last night. For the record, I am 100% #WithHer.
    Suggested by @maddie1002
  34. Ordered Chinese food and then waited for them to hand it to me.
    Suggested by @kp361
  35. I dreamt I was at my job waitressing and Harry Styles was in the waiting room being snarky and rude. Also I high five Tyler Posey. @kaitlynvella I blame your list for this dream.
    I'm sorry.
    Suggested by @marymurphy
  36. I dreamt my boss was flying our team around in a plane. She was a dreadful pilot but insisted she knew what she was doing. We nearly hit the San Francisco bridge, landed in the water there, evaded drowning, and finally she said "Yeah maybe we should find a new pilot."
    Suggested by @Ames91
  37. That I was watching tv naked and Jimmy Fallon could see me 😬
    Suggested by @Terrilynn
  38. I left my laptop on a ski lift during an avalanche and used heelys to go down the mountain
    Suggested by @LaurelHeenan
  39. I was pregnant with Jimmy Fallon's baby...
    Vivid dream. Keep having to remind myself I'm not pregnant... Xxx
    Suggested by @genalwatson
  40. That all the Pokémon I caught were real and my pets, and I was mad because the Flareon wouldn't let my dog sleep on the bed with me.
    Suggested by @supabg
  41. My mother needed to borrow my car because hers was being repaired, and while driving it she put away my vanilla air freshener
    I have hyperrealistic dreams, this exactly what happened two days ago
    Suggested by @azurannae
  42. I dreamt that Jeff Goldblum was teaching me a new, enlightened way of brushing my teeth (wish I could have remembered his technique when I woke up). I'm convinced he is my spirit guide as he frequently appears in my dreams to give me advice.
    Suggested by @erikab
  43. My sister hollowed out a book I gave her as a gift, filled it with spoiled milk and rubbing alcohol, and then mailed it so someone I like just to spite me
    Suggested by @ellied
  44. I got my ass beat by two bald men with Russian accents. they smashed my head with a bat, and I went unconscious in my dream. I came to in what felt like a minute, but the people in my dream told me I was out for fifteen. they shot me in the neck with what I thought was adrenaline, but it was hot pink. I jumped up, feeling unfazed
    and we ran into a car. we drove for miles past trees that were floating and spinning above the ground, all of them spinning at different speeds. we ended up in a mall of some sort. we ran into the men again. since we were in public, they didn't physically hurt me again. but they intimidated the fuck outta me. they kept finding me in stores and touching my bloody chin, pretending to flirt and be concerned about my wounds with murder in their eyes. I ran into a bathroom to hide, then awakened.
    Suggested by @olive
  45. In my dream I was seated between Kanye West and Jay Z and Beyonce at the premiere of Ye's new video (it doesn't exist). Flirted with Beyonce against her own advice, Jay Z got mad. She said that would happen. Kanye was mad people were talking during his video. Song was catchy, wish it existed for my own entertainment and new hit single.
    The weirdest part? The whole dreamt took place inside a local grocery store.
    Suggested by @nickdrew25
  46. I was on a yellow school bus painted in a psychedelic manor. Everyone looked very hippie like - in the more "I haven't showered in days" way. Listening to The Grateful Dead, the Beatles, etc. I was paralyzed and observing and everything around me shifted and swirled. It was pretty rad.
    I am the walrus, goo goo g' joob
    Suggested by @jelliunicorn
  47. I dreamt that I invented an excuse to get out of going to a friend's wedding, was caught by them when I forgot the date of the wedding and went to the exact location by accident, was fake-nicely invited to the reception, went out of guilt, and was subsequently the butt of all their jokes for the rest of the evening.
    So stressful.
    Suggested by @DG
  48. I dreamt that I was casted in a racially diverse action movie with Hugh Jackman as my dad. And on top of that, I was not forced to do a stereotypical Indian accent. #Wins
    Suggested by @archaj1627
  49. I dreamt that I died. Which made me so much more aware of living today. Also that I will probably make a lousy ghost someday. 👻
    Suggested by @jshenefield92
  50. Awkward sex dream about a platonic friend. Ewwwwwwwwww.
    Suggested by @Embitter
  51. That I accidentally got on a bus headed all the way to Texas, and the Beatles were there. And when Ringo noticed I was lost he took me under his wing
    Possibly inspired by falling asleep while watching Help
    Suggested by @kendicorn
  52. Last night I dreamed that a very large ape came in our house and took a crap on the floor. I was taking him inside to give him something to eat after finding him in the backyard.
    Suggested by @Dashelamet
  53. That I was a useless Pokémon - Metapod, a cocoon. Hope it means means something great is coming.
    Suggested by @abhariginal
  54. I dreamt that Justin Bieber killed some one and I was helping him cover it up then he but on a Spider-Man costume and left swinging on his webs then I woke up
    Suggested by @Official_Shamain
  55. I dreamt that I was second runner up on the Bachelor with Ben Higgins but was totally ok with it because we had a "mutual understanding"... Not sure why I was ok with that
    Suggested by @berrywilliamson
  56. I was broken up with because my pet spider didn't get along with his pet spider. Neither of is have pet spiders in real life.
    Suggested by @gabrielasant19
  57. An arsonist who looked like Professor Umbridge was threatening to blow up my middle school and I had to save everyone with my quiver full of sharpened pencils.
    Just another typical night.
    Suggested by @yascag
  58. That I reconciled with my sister at a yoga class
    Suggested by @dangervillage
  59. I actually dreamt I met you (BJ)
    And I was overly dramatic about it and
    Suggested by @marscad
  60. I dreamt that I was on a life raft surrounded by sharks. I didn't want to get eaten alive, so instead of paddling to an island, I sunk the raft to the bottom of the ocean and learned to breathe underwater.
    In hindsight, that may not have been my brightest idea.
    Suggested by @ewester
  61. The dude I have a crush on announced him and his girlfriend are having a baby
    Suggested by @katelynmchessler
  62. I dreamt that I ran into John Stamos at a hospital. Greek yogurt John Stamos, not Full House John Stamos. I was hitting on him and got him to come back to my room. Soon he was doing knife hits and banging my hospital room roommate. All of a sudden he twisted around, looked me right in the eye and hissed "CUT ME". I woke up feeling very confused.
    Suggested by @maryisthebest
  63. I was at a gas station and I suddenly got into a very brutal fight with Harvey Keitel (Looking like he did in From Dusk Til Dawn) He stabbed me in the leg in my dream (which actually hurt) and I stabbed him back. The dream then went in to something weird that I don't recall.
    Suggested by @KimpanionCube
  64. That I swallowed crest white strips
    Suggested by @rachelhoffman
  65. I had a dream that I had to steal Kraft American Singles from an English professor at my college in order to become better at yoga.
    Suggested by @rebeccamaepeter
  66. Bra shopping. Yeah. I'm not sure that it shouldn't be classified as a nightmare. No one had my size.
    Suggested by @KateandDogs
  67. That I saw a rare Pokemon and it escaped
    Suggested by @katieroof
  68. My dream was that my chihuahua-terrier mix dog flew out the back yard, beat down the neighbors big, black dog, then flew down the block and kept law & order.
    She really did bust through the screen door to the back yard earlier this week.
    Suggested by @MichaelRose
  69. I had bread hands. Literal loaves of bread for hands.
    Suggested by @sky
  70. A friend and I were waiting for a train that never came. If you tried to leave the station you were swarmed by beetles. We were enjoying each other's company, so it didn't matter.
    Suggested by @sideyedavid
  71. I dreamt my son's girlfriend moved out and took their son. I was sobbing on my moms shoulder and then I woke up.
    Woke up crying so hard and couldn't shake it. I consider this a nightmare.
    Suggested by @kelleyg63