Things I would say if I met "her"

  1. You think you're special because he picked you and he said he loves you. You're not. Yes you're 20 years younger than me, cute, smart, and engaging. Smart and engaging are table stakes for him, otherwise he wouldn't have looked at you twice. You were just willing and able.
  2. You were willing and able because you have daddy issues. (Yes, he told me how you feel about your dad) And he's 25 years older than you. It's such a cliche.
  3. He's 25 years older than you. And your boss. Was the cliche titillating to you in the way that millennials find irony interesting? That's so fucking pathetic. Stop co-opting other people's shit and create your own.
  4. He did this because he's complicated in ways you could never begin to understand. Or have the patience for. I'm the only one who understands him and loves him not just in spite of his flaws but because of them. You're not old enough and haven't lived life enough to understand the depth of that.
  5. I am smarter than you, more interesting than you, and better in bed than you. That 20 years makes a huge difference in ways that matter. You don't hold a candle to me. Woman to woman, you're not my competition. The ONLY thing you have going for you is that you're young and naive.
  6. He NEVER would have left me for you. And he never would have had the strength to end it. He's too weak. It was only a matter of time before you got tired of him being so needy or I confronted him.
  7. At least you had the sense to decide you don't want to talk to him anymore when he told you it was over. I was afraid you'd try to convince him to come back to you. And I knew he wouldn't have the strength to resist it. So in a way I thank you for that. It helps me move on.