UNHELPFUL THINGS TO SAY TO SOMEONE GRIEVING
My friend died recently. He was 23. I am super sad about it.
- •He'll be watching too, from where he isIt's fine if this is the sort of thing you believe it and it brings you comfort, but it is 100% not appreciated by someone who doesn't believe in it. And you should be mindful of that. (But also my mum said this to me and neither of us believe it?)
- •It'll get easier with timeI know this, and it's a good thing, but a day after your friend dies you are not thinking about how it feels bad to be devastated and how it would be good to not be sad. You are thinking about how devastating the situation is. You SHOULD be devastated. You don't want to think about being ok. Because thinking about moving on and putting him out of your mind and it no longer being devastating...makes it worse.
- •"Sorry if I'm being insensitive but do you know what happened to [friend]?"An actual message from a vague friend I haven't spoken to in months who knew my friend peripherally. MATE. Would it have killed you to offer your condolences before asking?
- •Chin upWhat the actual fuck is this not just known? Does this not obviously just trivialise the enormity of the situation? This was not said to me, but to my friend's brother.
- •He wouldn't have wanted us to be sadI don't know about you but when I die, I want everyone to be sad, kay?