Getting to Know the Subway's Monsters
From least to most evil.
- •Pole HuggersYou are an old school train monster, so, I guess, cred.
- •Suitcase HaversI get that you're connecting to JFK and you're seeing NYC on a budget. You're still a monster.
- •Stop MissersThe whole thing is incredibly straightforward, is it not?
- •Bag BumpersYou're hitting me with your backpack. Did you forget about it?
- •External Speaker UsersNot down with the headphones, bro?
- •Stop Ahead PreparersBreathe, lady. You are not going to miss your stop. I'll let go when the train stops moving.
- •Stairway Phone CheckersBetter not wait until you're at the top of the stairs. There's probably an emoji emergency and that why you're slowing down.
- •Stairway Phone TalkersYou just stopped in the middle of the stairwell because another step and you might lose the signal. There's no one behind you. Carry on.
- •Door Area StandersYou are blocking the fucking door. You understand that, yes?
- •Door Area StoppersYou'd rather not move all the way In. Totally cool. You make the Standers look like presidential candidates. Congratulations, you are perhaps civilization's greatest monster.