Getting to Know the Subway's Monsters

From least to most evil.
  1. Pole Huggers
    You are an old school train monster, so, I guess, cred.
  2. Suitcase Havers
    I get that you're connecting to JFK and you're seeing NYC on a budget. You're still a monster.
  3. Stop Missers
    The whole thing is incredibly straightforward, is it not?
  4. Bag Bumpers
    You're hitting me with your backpack. Did you forget about it?
  5. External Speaker Users
    Not down with the headphones, bro?
  6. Stop Ahead Preparers
    Breathe, lady. You are not going to miss your stop. I'll let go when the train stops moving.
  7. Stairway Phone Checkers
    Better not wait until you're at the top of the stairs. There's probably an emoji emergency and that why you're slowing down.
  8. Stairway Phone Talkers
    You just stopped in the middle of the stairwell because another step and you might lose the signal. There's no one behind you. Carry on.
  9. Door Area Standers
    You are blocking the fucking door. You understand that, yes?
  10. Door Area Stoppers
    You'd rather not move all the way In. Totally cool. You make the Standers look like presidential candidates. Congratulations, you are perhaps civilization's greatest monster.