RULES FOR SOUNDING LESS STUPID
These are not guidelines to help you sound smart. Just less stupid.
- •Never say you didn't like a movie because you couldn't understand it.Even if that's true, there's a chance someone who didn't actually understand the movie thought that he or she actually understood the movie and now thinks you're a butt. Bonus negative points if you dislike a Coen Brothers or a Tarantino movie. But forgiveness if you walk out of a Malick.
- •Minimize the use of the word "like" and never use it after the word "was."Also, don't recap an episode of Pretty Little Liars for ten whole minutes into my left ear on a plane when I'm clearly staring out the window at the plane's beautiful white wing. Me saying "hello" while boarding does not give you that privilege.
- •Never post your true personal opinions on Facebook. Especially not opinions about sports or politics.You won't want to go to your timeline in 5 years and realize you posted J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS 43 separate times in 2015. Unless that actually makes you nostalgic, in which case, butt.
- •Admit when you don't know something.Chances are that half of the time, the person asking you a question is an b-hole who knows you don't know the answer. Don't give that dickling the satisfaction of correcting you.
- •Never tell someone you read a lot and then list the Harry Potter books #1-7 as your personal favorites.Nothing against the series. I mean, it's golden. Just try reading something no one else you know has read. It's a topic starter and proves you didn't stop reading after you turned 17.