How I Met Your Father

07/08/09 marks 7 years married. 👰🏻 Happy Anniversary!
  1. Manage a Pier 1 and insist on hiring veterans
    Helpful hint: we're nothing like OITNB season 4 makes us out to be.
  2. Hire Joe
    USMC vet from San Diego. Can't lift his arms above his head because of freak accident, but sounds like a good stock boy otherwise.
  3. Fuck Joe
    Woah! This list is getting way off track. Also: I don't think your supposed to do that...
  4. Joe gives ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ peer review
    "I've got a friend coming to visit from Iraq..."
  5. Debate where to draw the line when it comes to 'Supporting Our Troops'
    I mean..., I guess? How hot is he?
  6. Turns out he's hot
    Agree to date at strip club
  7. Find yourself
    In an eat, pray, love moment eating peanut butter crackers in the break room. WTF are you thinking?!?
  8. Stand up Date
    Fuck that. No strip club dates. I've drawn the line.
  9. 3 months later
    Guess who's back in town and still hot? Jeff is.
  10. Support the Troops
    1 night stands are ok as long as they're secret. Joe won't tell...
  11. Date Wealthy Guy
    Jeff who? No seriously. Forget his name completely much to the shigrin of Joe.
  12. Get Dumped.
    Iraq Marine has tons of time for phone sex so that's a bonus. What's his name again?
  13. Get Fired
    Probably shouldn't have slept with Joe
  14. Say FTW and Move to San Diego
    Don't give friends or family much of a heads up. This whole situation sounds wack.
  15. Move in together. Get married. Have baby.
    And that's how I met your father.