I'M LATE BECAUSE...MY TOP 9 REASONS

I know it's not a great characteristic and I'm not proud of it, but I'm always late. Always. Except to work (well...) or to catch the Megabus (gotta get that window seat).
  1. 1.
    The snooze button is my favorite of the buttons
  2. 2.
    I said 10 minutes, but that's code for 20-30. Blame it on my shitty math skills, I guess
  3. 3.
    I fucked up my eyeliner. Again.
  4. 4.
    The CTA doesn't run on my schedule. I miss a lot of buses & trains. Cabs & Uber can suck it...you will never get my $$!!🙅🏻
  5. 5.
    I was picking out what to wear...& I LITERALLY couldn't decide (read as Chris Traeger aka Rob Lowe on Parks & Rec)
  6. 6.
    I wanted to finish my drink but didn't want to chug. My old ass is past that shit 👵🏼
  7. 7.
    I fell asleep. Fak!
  8. 8.
    I can't help that Netflix & Hulu automatically play the next episode
  9. 9.
    I NEEDED TO EAT SOMETHING!!