THINGS MY THUG OF A CAT DOES THAT DRIVE ME MAD

Everyone on the internet loves cats. People seem to have these lovable, cuddly gorgeous looking moggy's who never cause a minutes trouble and take amazing pictures. I was romanced by it and decided to get a cute kitty of my own. I didn't, I got the worst cat....
  1. Bites my feet if I don't get out of bed straight away.
  2. Climbs the bookcase.
  3. Pees in my shoes.
  4. Knocks over everything. Everything.
  5. Eats out of the bin even thought I feed him better food than me.
  6. Eats cactus.
  7. Jumps and scratches at the walls, for no reason.
  8. Has to sit on your back when you just want to use the toilet in peace.
  9. Chews the bristles on my makeup brushes.
  10. Rips up books.
  11. Rips holes in all my nicest shirts.