5 WAZE TO IMPROVE WAYS. I MEAN
- 1.Cut out all that cartoon shit.Seriously, wtf is going on? There’re marshmallow ghosts everywhere. Is this my phone or Nintendo DS? Just get me home.
- 2.Figure out which direction my car is parked (or at least let me input it).9 out of 10 times, Waze wrongly predicts which direction I’m starting off in (that’s 10% or an F-). By the time it re-calibrates, I’m stuck in an underground tunnel without a U-turn for three counties. Adjusting arrival time...
- 3.Don't ask me to lie.We both know I’m not the “Passenger.”
- 4.Opt out of Frogger Mode.You know, where Waze nudges you into two-way suicide deathmatches on your way to the dry cleaners. Hollywood, you feel me.
- 5.Opt into Chill Mode.Have you ever clicked on alternate routes and discovered there’s another path to your destination that may add a couple minutes, but takes you in a straight line? Instead of A to X to third oak tree to Torrance to B. The number of minutes you save is directly correlated to years of life lost to stress and near-death.
- 6.This is a total aside but...what about a TV show about how Waze is gentrifying obscure, best-kept-secret neighborhoods? So many Beverly Hills pockets I never knew existed! How bummed are all those quiet families in West Adams now, waking up to a caravan of SUVs on their way downtown. I basically have to parachute home now over all the Venice traffic cutting through my hood.
- 7.Overall though...I rate Waze 5 out of 5 stars. That’s 100% or an A+.