➕ A TO ZZZ ➕ SLEEP TIPS AND TECHNIQUES
I’ve had sleep problems my entire life. I average 4-5 hours of broken Z's a night, and at least once a week, I'll never fall asleep. These are all the sleep tips I've aggregated over the years (and my rebuttals). Hopefully they work for you. As for me, I'm open to new suggestions. // (Note: I rarely have trouble falling asleep. It’s staying asleep)
- •Keep a consistent bedtime.Try to hit the pillows before 11pm every night and awake with the sun; this locks in with your natural rhythms. It’s a sunlight + hormonal thing. (I have vampire children, so, this is like, mandatory)
- •Caffeine freeIf you do drink coffee, stick to 1-2 cups tops, but no more cups after noon (Because of past dependencies, I don’t drink any caffeine, although I’ll F the S outta some chocolate).
- •Turn off your phone.The backlit screens on your phone and laptop confuse your brain into thinking it’s daytime. So, don't look at a screen for the 30 minutes leading up to bedtime. This is impossible because Life. I mean, what’s so bad about screens anyways. Didn’t we have the TV before Internet? (Anyways, I do follow this rule, as difficult as it sounds, and play with my abacus).
- •Don't read in bedHave a designated space away from the bedroom where you can comfortably read at night. It’s important to designate your bed as a place to fall asleep and sometimes sex if you’re into that sorta thing. (Ever since I joined List, I stopped reading books anyways).
- •Dark environmentLike Craig says in Friday, the blacker, the better. (The thoughts that rifle through my brain as I lie awake at 4am, I’ll show you a "dark environment").
- •Meditate.Sleep issues almost always boil down to stress or anxiety. Meditation helps you learn how to breathe and calm the mind. (Headspace junkie over here. Sleeps like a heroin junkie).
- •Don't nap.(GTFOH)
- •Stay active.Wear your body out with regular exercise. (I surf every morning. I also watch a lot of fight videos on WorldStar, which really takes a lot out of me).
- •Sex.Insert penis into vagina with great vigor and enthusiasm. (This is my favorite sleep tip, but has proven just as ineffective. Let me try one more time).
- •The 4-7-8 Breath technique.This strategy's been going viral this month. It’s Dr. Weil’s breathing technique that guarantees falling asleep in 60 seconds: http://bit.ly/1cfv87T . Press your tongue against the back of your two front teeth, breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 7, then exhale for 8 seconds. Repeat. (Wait, how do you exhale 4 seconds’ worth of air for 8 seconds?! That doesn’t even make sense. This works for me almost never).
- •Melatonin (or some Whole Foods herbal sleep aid of the week)It’s safe, it’s natural, and it’ll knock you out mid-senten (...Not I, said the little billy goat. I pop Ambiens like Tic-Tacs. This is scary, but I’ll flip entire Xanax bars. Nada.)