© Bobby Kim 2015
  1. The Lust
    Lists of people you want to have sex with. Go nuts. Your college professor, Ginger from Gilligan's Island, neighborhood sign twirler, grandma. Pix or it didn't happen. Followers corroborate or disagree, but there is plenty of discussion. It's like porn, except crowdsourced, and you talk about it. Use your words.
  2. The Lisp
    Twitter but all the "s"s are replaced with "th." Drew Barrymore and Mike Tyson are Kardashian status. This app blows, don't invest.
  3. The Last
    These are your closing thoughts to leave with the Internet world. After this, you go off the grid. It's your final hurrah, the legacy you leave behind for the aliens to unearth later. "I never liked tennis" - Andre Agassi. That sorta thing. Like a digital headstone. Rest in pixels.
  4. The Lost
    A GPS for the emotionally and spiritually disoriented. Need some direction in life? Type your problems in the navbar and The Lost offers guidance to somewhere that offers guidance. Scenic points, art studios, and skydiving lessons are popular. More interesting are big brother programs, tattoo apprenticeships, and obscure jazz clubs. Churches, bars, crossfit gyms, and temp agencies pay to play.
  5. The Listless
    This is every app ever, mashed into a social media diarrhea soup. Infinite scroll. No time constraint on videos (auto loop), no character limit. The feed churns for you like steady vomit. You have to follow at least 10,000 people and must update your status on the hour. Most start with this, then The Lost, then The Last.