Without a doubt, these inventions have only made my life more frustrating, stressful, and sad, instead of simpler, faster, and happier.
  1. Touchscreen phones
    Were keyboards that big of a nightmare? I have this theory that mobile phones peaked with the Blackberry. Not even the later-generation BBs, but the side-dial, plastic bricks that took calls and email. BBM. Minimal web access. Social media free. Blackberries gave you exactly what you needed, nothing more or less. Plus, no-look texting with one thumb while driving sans autocorrect FTW.
  2. Digital photography
    Okay, digital photography definitely boosted the accessibility and immediacy to capturing moments. But where do all these photos go? We spend so much time trying to freeze memories, but we’re likely to never look at the photo again, let alone share it with anyone else, or preserve a hard copy. Film photography ensured the balance between enjoying life and documenting it. You appreciated each shot because it cost $. Like that Chris Rock joke about making bullets really expensive.
  3. Email
    I feel like my life is spent losing the war against email. The crazy thing is that the majority of email is unnecessary and avertible. If its work-related, most of it can be handled in person or on a call - and if it’s urgent, chances are that it’s only so because someone didn’t plan well.
  4. Digital cable
    I have a thousand channels and can never find anything to watch. But, when I only had CBS, NBC, ABC, and Fox, I couldn’t watch enough television. // Related: I have 8 remote controls, and to watch basic TV I use a combination of 3 of them. One of them IS the universal remote.
  5. mp3s
    Sometimes, the more efficient you get, the more disposable the result. Once we made music intangible and “free," it lost its value. if you don’t really have to work for it, how much can you care about it?
  6. Wireless mouse
    Actually, wireless everything. The wires weren’t a problem. Constantly digging through my cabinets for spare batteries is.
  7. Most menial, service computers that have replaced a human anywhere
    Checking in for an appointment at a corporate office and having to type in through an iPad instead of chatting with the nice lady standing in front of you. Checking out groceries yourself, while a clerk silently stands there to make sure you swipe your card. Really?