Horrible Holiday Combinations

  1. A soprano solo of "Angels We Have Heard On High" and a lisp
  2. Gingerbread houses and an insatiable desire to karate chop delicate things
  3. "It's a Wonderful Life" and feminism
  4. Romantic walks down heavily decorated neighborhood streets and the flu
  5. An ugly Christmas sweater party and a nudist
  6. A live tree and a pyromaniac roommate
  7. A trip over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house and a diet
  8. A thirsty Santa that needs something to wash down the cookies and only one milk option in the fridge- breastmilk
  9. Lack of sleep and being forced to sit through an evening showing of Handel's Messiah
  10. A horse drawn carriage ride and a plague of locust
  11. Sitting on Santa's lap and explosive diarrhea