THINGS I DO WHEN I'M PUTTING OFF WRITING...

Each takes on a delusional air of necessity. So I have the peace of mind to work ya know?
  1. Put on the right outfit
    Ridiculous (usually shoot for Darkness on the Edge of Town era Springsteen and land near hungover Channing Tatum).
  2. Mop
    Almost never occurs to me outside this circumstance.
  3. Read about stuff I like and call it research
  4. Make sure all my shoes are together lined up outside the front door
  5. Sing to my dog
  6. Learn to play Whitney Houston songs
    This is just for me as the dog doesn't appreciate gender reversal in a pop music cover context.
  7. Make a "next time I go to Target" list
  8. Reorganize my books based on the emotional impact they made in my young life
  9. Look up someone who wasn't that cool to me in High School on social media and then remember I'd already drunkenly done so months ago.
  10. YouTube interviews with writers I like hoping to affirm my strong suspicion they too struggled to get the ball rolling
    This has mixed results at best.
  11. Random bursts of bicep curls
    What's my goal here really?
  12. Check up on the exes.
    Not like I stalk them or anything.
  13. Play with apps and social media on my phone to make me feel like I've accomplished something...
    What? We all do it...