IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED

  1. Look again! You actually succeeded!
  2. It's because your enemies are realer than you think.
  3. Never try again
  4. It's because I'm actively plotting against you
  5. Get a job at Starbucks; they're hiring!
  6. Re-consider your life as an artist...
  7. Write a sad song about it (it worked for Adele!)
  8. Eat a whole pizza to cheer yourself up.