DEAR SANTA, SECRET OR OTHERWISE (OR FATHER CHRISTMAS AS I PREFER TO CALL YOU BECAUSE 🇬🇧)

Any of these would be abundantly acceptable gifts.
  1. A book deal
    As a great fictional character once said, though not to the publishing industry, "Have a little compassion on my nerves! You tear them to pieces."
  2. Josh Lyman
    Wrapped in a bow and delivered on my doorstep, after magical fairies have thoroughly cleaned and tidied my apartment and organised my room without having to throw anything away.
  3. A less stressful visa than my current and soonish expiring student visa
    A Green Card would be ideal, but I'll also take the O1B, because how cool would it be to walk around knowing I have been deemed an Alien of Extraordinary Ability?
  4. The ability to edit tweets after posting them
    Or I could just hang out here instead where they let you do that so on second thoughts I'll take that book deal please.