MAGAZINES I SUBSCRIBE TO, RANKED BY HOW DISAPPOINTED I AM WITH MYSELF FOR ALMOST NEVER READING THEM

  1. Time
    I love Time. I used to buy it when I lived in Belgium, even despite its ridiculous price tag of around $6. Favourite thing: Joel Stein's column. Reasons I don't read it: the cover story is often depressing and a week is a really short time to get round to something. And it turns out that when you don't spend $6 on something, you're much less likely to read it.
  2. The Atlantic
    Thoughtful longform articles on important, newsworthy topics. To be honest, I have no recollection of subscribing, but I was excited when these started showing up. Reasons I don't read it: a month is a really long time and of course I will make time to get around to it before the next one turns up but then I don't.
  3. People
    I was getting free subscriptions when I signed up for a Books A Million membership and I thought this might be a fun one and might help me, um, invest in my knowledge of American pop culture. Reasons I don't read it: it doesn't always have the British Royal Family on the cover. Or, in fact, anyone I've heard of. Let's be honest, though: I read this more than I read any of the others on this list.
  4. The New Republic
    This was my favourite when it was a fortnightly DC institution. Then there was a big scandal, some new person bought it and said vague things about vertical integration or something, most of the old guard and quality journalists left, including a friend of mine, and they moved it to New York. Reasons I don't read it: a vague sense of guilt coupled with my desire to protest unnecessary changes and the long, slow death of quality journalism. Also, it's monthly now - see above.
  5. Real Simple
    This was the third in my "get three free magazine subscriptions!" offer from Books a Million. @LizDawson says it's good, and one day I will heed her advice and flick through. In the meantime, though, reasons I don't read it: it's big and heavy and I don't want to drag it around with me. Also it features scary words like "organize" and "declutter" on the cover.