The Deadliest Reading Positions, Ranked

Don't try these at home.
  1. Upside down in a chair. (Danger level: Uh Oh)
    The head rush can be cool for maybe ten seconds, but if you're reading a 400+ page whopper that (obviously) cannot be put down, that's a LOT of blood going to one place.
  2. In moving vehicles. (Danger level: Yikes!)
    Car sickness aside, being in a moving vehicle requires a certain amount of attention. To make sure the driver is safe and on track. To duck and cover of terrible things happen. Add a layer of motion sickness, and uh oh, buddy.
  3. Reading by a stove. (Danger level: Flirting With Disaster)
    Sure, it sounds classy. A glass of wine, something flavorful sizzling on the stove, and you, lost in a book. BUT WHAT IF THE BOOK CATCHES FIRE???
  4. Walking down the stairs. (Danger level: AAAHHH!!!)
    If you have a thing about heights and a thing about stairs, don't risk not having a clue where you're putting youth foot next because you're too absorbed reading.
  5. In the driver's seat. (Danger level: GOODBYE WORLD)
    Unlike a certain beloved actor who portrays a blond-haired, elitist, wand-wielding villain we love, nobody, and we mean NOBODY, should try this. Bless you, Jason Isaacs, for being the daredevil you are. The rest of us will volunteer for Designated Reader duty.