1. All men are created equal
  2. If I quit smoking im either going cold turkey or not quitting smoking
  3. In 20 or so years, the first children of people who met on tinder will be able to tell their friends that their parents met on tinder
  4. There always seemed to be candy in the bowl at my grandmother's house but I don't think she ever bought new candy
  5. Being a slacker who likes alternative culture and fashion is becoming mainstream. Soon counterculture will consist of a wife kids a dog and a picket fence. The cycle will repeat itself indefinitely.
  6. My hair will soon reach a length when a man bun is the only obvious conclusion. At which point, I will spontaneously combust