requested by @wonderlilly - I have a million ideas for lists that I will never write, mostly because they're a bummer
  1. let me tell you about hearing loss
    it's like becoming a ghost while you're still alive and it's awful.
  2. is this a dog or a cat??
    This was an ad I was shown on myfitnesspal (?????) i've been wondering about this, and her eyeshadow choice, all week
  3. things I want — but don't actually want — but i look at on Amazon a lot
    1. trampoline, 2. hot tub, 3.
  4. pets I'd keep and why
    most, if not all of them. it would become very Bubba Gumpish if I wrote this list
  5. People I have a lower opinion of after having met them and why
    the world doesn't need to know this really and I hopefully have better things to do with my time
  6. things that keep me up at night
    worries about money and time and my parents, usually
  7. how it feels to be a person with a long memory
    sometimes it's like i lived another life that no one else knows about because they don't remember our shared experiences
  8. sad and mean things people have said to me
    this is related to the last list. honestly I wish I had a worse memory for things like this
  9. times I thought I was eating vegetarian food but there was meat in it
    major source of anxiety and mistrust and sadness and also related to memory because I can remember every time it's happened
  10. open letter to my first serious boyfriend
    i cringe, still, to this day
  11. subjects I don't care about and don't want to hear about and you can keep it to yourself
    don't want to offend anyone but I have some thoughts on this
  12. unflattering photos of people I don't like
    I think it's kind of funny but someone could easily do the same to me and I'd be so sad. FYI I have nothing for or against mr. bean
  13. why you shouldn't be an artist for a living
    people don't want to hear this, but like most creative careers, it's much harder than it seems and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who feels they have options. ⭐️⭐️⭐️ believe in your dreams*!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️ * don't
  14. pretty much anything that is negative but not actionable
    that stuff can stay in the deep recesses of my mind from which only therapy can excavate it