THINGS DONALD TRUMP COULD DO WITHOUT LOSING SUPPORT
On Friday, Donald Trump told a crowd of brownshirts/supporters at Dodt College in Iowa that he could commit cold blooded murder in public without losing his supporters. Here is an open list of other actions or events that would not cost him voters.
- •Lead a public campaign calling for Chris Rock to step down as host of the Oscars, and criticizing the Academy Awards for being, overall, too black.
- •Be found guilty of war crimes committed in Vietnam, while on vacation there in the early 1990s.
- •In response to criticism from some GOP stalwarts for not being a real republican, pull out his pants' pockets and penis on "Live with...Kelly and Michael". Repeatedly shout "I'm an elephant". Also, racial slurs.
- •Passionately defend a ranking of Indiana Jones films that has Crystal Skull ranked second overall. Providing said passionate defense while strangling the actor who played Short Round.
- •Be found passed out, naked in a motel room, covered in a thin film of cocaine and other party drugs, with a dead Danny Bonaduce and stripper.
- •Announce that, if elected, Hulk Hogan would be his choice for Secretary of Defense. And Education. The rest of the positions would be filled via a national lottery.