How to deal with me while I'm grieving
A year and a month ago, we lost my mother-in-law. And then one of my high school classmates. And then, the father of some of my closest friends. And now, my father-in-law. So if you've been around me in the past year, you've already been doing these things whether you knew it or not.
- •There are no right words, but kind words are never wrong.I believe that the intention matters more than whether your choice of caring words fits my personal worldview. So go ahead and make it religious - I respect your faith. Say something you'd want to hear if it was you, even if it's not quite right for me. If you're trying, I'm thankful.
- •DistractionsI think grief is like breath - it's there whether you're conscious of it or not. I've been distracting myself by watching American Horror Story. Life is unfair, but at least I don't live in Murder House!
- •Let's drink.Enough said.
- •You can also leave me alone if you don't want to deal with that stuff.I totally get it. Also, I'm super into being by myself. I'm alone right now!
- •Nature and water heal me.As usual, I'll be spending a lot of time at the pool or staring into the ocean. Feel free to show your support by liking my Instagram photos of ducks or whatever.
- •I just have one ruleDo not tell me to cheer up. Do not applaud and tell me "that's the Brandy I know" if I'm in a happy mood, because I do not take orders when it comes to my emotions. I have ended friendships for this, and happily so. Never do this to people, it's awful and mean and never well-intentioned.
- •Or just don't deal with me at all?Life going on as usual is comforting. And I'm really strong, and I'm pretty sure I got this. I'll be happy again, once all this pain finds a little place in my soul to call its own.
- •AlsoPlease don't die.