CHARACTERS IN THE FIRST HARRY POTTER MOVIE, RANKED

  1. 1.
    Hermione
    Boss bitch who does not need friends or social skills to conquer her wizard classes, but kindly lets Ron and Harry into her clique anyway.
  2. 2.
    Oliver Wood
    Scottish hottie with a body, and a shameful misuse of such a scrumptious human actor.
  3. 3.
    Ron
    Poor, but plucky. Wizard of my heart.
  4. 4.
    Alan Rickman
    He's got everything: resting bitch face, perfect hair, the prolific way he said "page 394."
  5. 5.
    Malfoy
    He grows up to be a shithead, but a sexy shithead.
  6. 6.
    Hedwig
    *spoiler alert* RIP
  7. 7.
    Harry
    Yea, that's right. Number 7 IN HIS OWN MOVIE.
  8. 8.
    Dumbledore
    The Gandalf Dumbledore is much better.