7 Reasons I'm Never Going to Accept That Invite to My Friend's BDSM Play Parties

  1. 1.
    Her place is, like, two hours away.
  2. 2.
    I have nothing to wear to that party.
    Just like you cannot show up at the Oscars without proper attire, you cannot show up at a sex party without sex party clothes. I suppose I could borrow some, but ew.
  3. 3.
    If I can't consider borrowing a corset without thinking "ew" how am I going to borrow someone's husband?
  4. 4.
    Eventually the sex party clothes come off and I am not interested in being naked in front of more than one person at a time.
  5. 5.
    My husband would not be amused.
  6. 6.
    I have gone to a very cute physical therapist and have learned that it does not matter how good looking a person is, if they hurt me I will not be turned on.
  7. 7.
    My friend gave up inviting me three years ago.