My husband is a very good cook, but he/we had an unfortunate string of mishaps in the kitchen 20+ years ago. Maybe the kitchen in that apartment was possessed by a poltergeist.
  1. He caught on fire.
    I don't even remember what he was making. Crepes, possibly? Something for breakfast because he was in his robe and the sleeve of his robe caught on fire. I had to put it out by smacking him. He didn't realize his robe was on fire so he didn't understand why I was assaulting him.
  2. Mustard explosion:
    he was trying to get the last bit of mustard out of a container and it was clogged and the fucking thing popped like a balloon. Mustard in his eyes was the worst part, but there were specks of mustard in the wall for months because he was too blinded to clean right away and dried mustard is really hard to get off. Also it was a rental.
  3. Beer volcano:
    Back in our 20s he brewed his own beer. I came home to find the food grade bucket it was fermenting in bulging in an alarming fashion. The airlock was clogged. I called him asking what I should do. He asked if I could lift the thing in the sink and pop the airlock off. I did, and when I popped the airlock beer spewed all the way up to the ceiling. (I had set the phone down and all he could hear was my scream.) I think there was still beer on the ceiling when we moved.
  4. Exploding mixer
    He was making oatmeal cookies with our Sunbeam mixer. I remember saying, "I smell an electrical burning smell." I turned to find the back of the mixer smoking and before I could tell him, the whole back end of the mixer blew off and hit the wall. It was quite dramatic.
  5. We have never had so many incidents since leaving that apartment. That was kind of a lot for a 2 year stint, eh?